Wild and Precious Life

 Tell me, what is it

you plan to do

with your one wild

and precious life?

-Mary Oliver

44 trips around the sun, with the 45th soon to be completed. I've had many lessons learned and have a lifetime of more opportunities to grow. 

Lately, I've been reflecting on my life and the paths taken, roads thrown in front of me- some I chose to walk down and others suddenly appeared as cliffs or roads with unscalable walls. Bottom line is, from all the journeys, I have grown. 

Today, I am a mother of two children- ages 10 and almost 8. I am a partner to a traveling & hard-working spouse & a fur mama to our sweet dog. I'm a gardener. A huge adventure-addict and lover of travel and exploring. A sister, daughter, friend. And, I am happy to say I am entering wilderness work again- this time not as a wilderness guide, but as one who sits in circles and listens. One who witnesses the stories told by others and holds space. I dream of helping others to see their light and to celebrate. 

For so many of my years, I looked around and wondered where I 'fit' into things. I worked various jobs, lived in different places, volunteered, and honestly- some of what I spent time doing and caring about really wasn't what was calling my heart, but I kept busy and was "doing".

I lived in suburbia, lived in the mountains, live in the high-desert, and also lived in my sleeping bag for months upon end, traveling all over and dreaming big... and now, I live in a rural river valley, fifteen minutes from a small town, near the Columbia River Gorge.

I am happy to say, actually ecstatic to yell that I am doing what calls my heart today. Number one job- being Mama Bear. Sure, it's hard to balance life at times and things get messy, uncomfortable, and just down right annoying- but on the flipside- life gets absolutely amazing, and freeing, and inspiring at the same time. The fears and 'shouldn'ts' that I once hear are slipping away.

This Mama Bear has big dreams. I mean B I G. I will be the woman who lies on her deathbed in old age (hopefully when I'm really old!) who feels she's listened to the call of the universe and her heart. 

I've decided to not ask 'why' anymore, but rather ask myself 'why not?'. 

Just today I met with a dear friend to talk about our visions we have for a rite of passage program in our area. The universe is speaking and more shall be revealed this year, no doubt. I am filled with gratitude for the strong friendships in my life. The friends who go to those dark places with me and I with them. The friends who laugh while sitting at a campfire and we cannot even figure out why we are laughing.

Right now, I know that this wild and precious life of mine is indeed full of challenges and celebrations. I will continue to travel through the seasons... childhood, adolescence, adulthood, and back again... and someday soon- I will enter into elderhood. 

As I stand on this earth and enter my 45th trip, I vow to grab this one and precious life and listen to what is calling me. ❤

“And though she be little, she is fierce.”

(Found this unpublished post from over a year ago)

An interview with Miss Sierra Grace...

*  What makes you happy? 

Dancing, music, and skiing

*  If you could do anything right now, what would you do?

There are so many good things! Dance, music, and skiing!

*  What do you look forward to when you wake up?

I look forward to music and dance on Wednesdays & on Thursdays.  I also look forward to Treesong.

*  If you could grow anything in the yard, what would it be?

Strawberries. The ones we grow are just sooooo good!

*  What makes you feel brave?

Skiing because if I go down a steep hill, or if I'm really close to falling, I can still ski without falling.

*  What makes you feel loved?

When I'm with my family. 

*  How do you show people you care?

Do kind things for them.

*  What does it feel like when I hug you?

L O V E. (Puts her hands out in a big circle and spells the word 'love')

*  If your stuffed animals could talk, what would they say?

They would say, "How are you Sierra? What would you like to do today?" It would just be straight up creepy!"

*  If you could give $100 to a charity, which would you choose?

Best Friends Animal Society

*  If you wrote a book, what would it be about?

Dance

*  If you could ask a wild animal any question, what would you ask?

I would ask a cheetah why they run so fast.

*  What makes you feel energized? 

Dancing, but only on Wednesdays. On Thursdays I am tired!

*  What are some of the best things about nature?

I like climbing trees.

*  You're a photographer for a day, what would you take pictures of?

Birds

*  What's a memory that makes you happy?

Our surprise trip to Legoland

*  What one thing do you do now that you need an adult for but would like to try to do all by yourself?

Climbing trees. I just need a little help getting up.

*  If you had to give everyone in the family new names, what would they be?

Mom- Su Su

Dad- Stevie

Alex- Brussel Sprout

Willow- Pussy Willow

*  What would you do if you made the rules at home?

I would make it so you, Mom, would have to pick up for us.

*  Tell me something about you that you think I might not know.

I am scared of wasps because I don't like them when they chase me. 
Once I got one in my hair!

*  What is something you think I want for you in life?

You always say I should do things that make my heart happy!

739 DAYS LATER

What makes your heart soar? 

What calls to you & brings you joy?

What do you wish you were doing differently today?

These are just a few of the questions that I find myself routinely exploring in my 44 year-old brain. I've vowed to make this life my best life so far- waking up each day with more commitment. My goal:  to live a more present & intention-filled life.

It was 739 days ago that Mr. Adventure & I (along with the kids & dogs) hit the road for a couple months. We pulled the kids out of school & traveled "just because" we had time. What a trip it was, and what an amazing life-shift we all experienced. If you had asked me two years ago if we'd be where we are in life today- I would have said 'no way'! What I have learned over the past two years is that life has an amazing way of opening up when we let go of fears and lean in to life. Today, I am grateful for this life and all we've experienced so far.

For years... actually for most of my life, I felt run by the "shoulds" and "have to's". After graduating from high school, I went straight to college and found myself wandering my first of many college campuses without purpose. Now, years have passed, with many lessons learned & degrees earned... with life's peaks and valleys traveled... I am living a life I love. It is filled with moments of laughter, adventure, pain, joy, and all the emotions that come with life.

So, back to the start of tonight's reflection... today, I find myself reaching within & adventuring out. 

My heart soars when I am outside. Outside in nature, seeing the trees and listening to the natural sounds. My heart soars when I see my children happy and laughing... when I see them feeling good about who they are & where they are today. 

And what calls to me? The mountains. After many trips to tropical spots & beaches, I know today that the crisp & clean alpine air fills my soul. This ski season we've logged 21 days on the slopes & I am sad to see the snow melting. And at the same time, know that mountain biking season is around the corner- with summer camping & hiking.

Today, I am filled with gratitude for this life and the experiences that are being placed in my path. Being a Mom to our kiddos is the hardest & most rewarding job ever. The exhaustion & growth I experience with each day amazes me & is always morphing and evolving. And, with each sunset and sunrise, I am filled with more intention to live my best life. I find myself moving away from those 'shoulds' and 'musts' and reaching more towards absolute yeses! If I can lay on my deathbed and look back with no regrets and just a handful of "I wish I had's"... that works for me. 

This one's for you Mr. Adventure ❤ ...

As soon as I saw you, 

I knew an adventure 

was about to happen.

                                                                                                          – Winnie the Pooh